Relationships do not always end in the manner that partners envisage. Whereas people would dream about beautiful ‘endings’ and a love that does not really end but reaches a different stage of bliss, the reality is usually far from this.
Relationships end all the time, and people usually find themselves single and sad after a while of being with someone they had thought they’d be with forever.
Is it ever cool for a person to return to an ex who broke their heart?
Many times when relationships end, it is final. For many, the end of a relationship is preceded by a lot of negative energy that makes coming back impossible. For example; a relationship may have ended because one person constantly mistreated the other. It could also happen as a result of one person cheating, showing unconcern or just basically breaking the other person’s heart without a care in the world about how they would feel.
At other times, the breakup does not happen as a result of toxic behavior. It could just be a matter of bad timing, irreconcilable differences and circumstances out of people’s control.
Some breakups happen after months of toxicity.
So does it make sense to get back with an ex?
It actually depends on how the relationship ended. All relationships are not the same, and all circumstances are not the same. So each situation would need to be considered and handled differently. It is a different thing if one relationship ended because one partner cheated serially, so bad that he gave his partner STI’s, compared to one where partners came to a mutual understanding that the stages they’re at at their careers makes it unreasonable to keep pursuing a relationship. Two different situations, and therefore requiring special, individual considerations.
What this means, generally, is that the choice to get back with an ex is totally dependent on individuals, rather than a set of unbendable rules.
So before taking back an ex, you may first have to ask yourself what brought about the initial breakup, what has changed, and why you want them back.
Sometimes, perfect relationships are ended due to irreconcilable differences of the couple at the time.
This is to ensure that you are doing the right thing and making the right decision, rather than making the same mistake twice. A partner who got kicked out the first time because they did not understand the basic relationship principle of communication should, logically, not be taken back unless there is overwhelming evidence that they have improved on that aspect of their existence.
Also if a relationship ended because of a physical, emotional, or even social distance that could not be bridged, getting back would presuppose that the distance is no longer an issue. To get back together with that ex, despite the fact that that distance problem is still in place, is obviously an invitation to trouble and a recipe for disaster.
You do not have to bring them back into your life if they’re going to come and stress you.
All in all, it just makes sense to always be sure you are doing the right thing, giving that ex a second chance. You want to be reasonably certain that you are doing the right thing, moving in the right direction; rather than just opening up yourself to further unneeded stress.
You may still be drawn to an ex for a long time after your split from them and that is quite normal. You have a past there. There is history and flames not quite totally dead.
That said, you’ll remain better served staying single and happy; rather than going back to that stressful partner who only gives a few moments of laughter before drowning it all in prolonged, devastating sadness.