No relationship is perfect. That said, also note that no relationship should be toxic. If you are in a relationship where you cry more than you laugh, you give more than you get or get nothing back, you have more thunder and lightnings than rainbows, then- there is a problem. Sweetheart, you are in a toxic relationship. Either party could be the toxic one but here are some signs to help you identify better.
1. You never accept blame
If you find yourself struggling time and time again with different partners, the harsh truth is the problem may be with the common denominator: you. “If you are tempted to blame all your relationship woes on your partner, chances are you’re overlooking your role in the problem.”
2. You say things you “don’t mean”
“You’re crazy,” or “What’s wrong with you?” lead to invalidating environments. In these cases, the root of the problem is often a rush to reaction.
Check the facts of what you are reacting to versus assuming you know what is going on, it helps to learn “healthy assertion skills” instead of resorting to passive-aggressiveness.
3. It’s “my way or the highway”
Another common behavior that can wear on a relationship is refusing to accept influence from your partner. More than simple stubbornness, this can be harmful if your partner doesn’t think his or her opinions are valued.
4. You are dependent on the relationship
Contributing toxicity to a relationship isn’t just about how you treat your partner, but also how you treat yourself. if you rely on the relationship to feel good, “that’s a sign something underlying should be addressed.
If you’ve ever heard, ‘If you leave me, I’ll kill myself,’ or something similar, it’s time to take a break from the relationship and get help yourself now. You are dealing with a manipulator who will use your love as a weapon against you. RUN! Before it becomes a case of “double wahala for deadi body”
5. You deliberately punish your partner
Does any of this look familiar? Giving the silent treatment or withholding sex over small transgressions? Insults and occasional slaps that may degenerate to punches? STOP! These are signs of manipulation. Sure, you might feel like you’re just trying to send a message, but there is a better way to express your frustrations.
6. You “harmlessly” slap during arguments
With such a thin line between the kind of slapping that doesn’t leave a mark and something much more dangerous, that is simply unacceptable. For some, “harmless slapping” is symptomatic of an inability to appropriately express your feelings — which means it is likely best to step back from the relationship and seek help from a professional counselor.