It isn’t rare that you start seeing signs your casual relationship is getting serious, but what does it mean for you? Should you get out or get serious?
At first, casual relationships sound like this win-win situation. You get all the benefits of a relationship without the fighting, pressure, or even commitment. Although a casual relationship can work, there are often signs your casual relationship is getting serious.
When this happens, casual turns into complicated. But, how do you even know what these signs are?
Is your casual relationship getting serious?
You probably entered into your casual relationship for one of these reasons: you aren’t ready to settle down, you don’t want to commit, or you just want to have fun. If not one of those, it was likely something similar like you are still recovering from a breakup.
But, if the reason you wanted a casual relationship seems further and further from what you have right now, your casual relationship may be showing signs that it is getting serious. Did you just want regular sex with no strings attached? Did you want fun and no drama?
If the things about a serious relationship you wanted to avoid seem inevitable, your casual relationship is getting serious. [Read: Casual dating vs serious dating: What do you want?]
Signs your casual relationship is getting serious
Are you worried your casual relationship is getting serious? Or maybe you are hoping your casual relationship is getting serious?
Either way, these are the signs your casual relationships getting serious.
#1 You’ve met each other’s families. The thing about keeping a casual relationship casual is that you really aren’t a part of each other’s lives. You don’t hang out in groups or spend time with the other’s family.
But, a sign that your casual relationship is getting serious is when this starts to happen. Maybe your roommate bumped into your lover in the hallway, fine. But, now they are having breakfast together and are invited to trivia night. The more you get involved in each other’s lives, the more serious things are.
#2 You care if they are seeing someone else. Jealousy is a creeper. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it and makes things messy. A casual relationship is usually separate from commitment, but if you find out this person is seeing someone else or even flirting and it bothers you, things could be getting serious, at least for one of you.
#3 You miss them and vice versa. You can miss sex and maintain your casual relationship. But, when you miss someone’s corny jokes or obsession with Game of Thrones, you miss them. That means the line between casual and emotional is blurring.
If you tell each other you miss each other or even just feel it, feelings could be on the horizon.
#4 You cuddle. Each casual relationship has its own rules and regulations. Some people can cuddle even when things are casual. But, when sex turns into intimacy, this could be an early sign that things are getting serious.
Even if everything feels the same, this is a small and subtle change.
#5 You talk A LOT. Sure, when you are together you talk. You chat about the latest episode of SNL and the weather. But, when you aren’t together, most casual relationships only need to chat to make plans.
If you notice yourself wanting to tell them good news or vent bad news, things could be getting more serious. If you text them all day or even just every day, your casual relationship is showing signs of something more serious.
#6 Small gestures. In a casual relationship, you may head over to your “friend’s” house and grab their mail on the way in. But, if you pick up their coffee order before seeing them or make them dinner, you are putting more effort in than a casual relationship requires.
#7 Boundaries are blurring. Almost every casual relationship is entered into with some sort of boundaries. You decide there are no sleepovers or no meals together or maybe you don’t even kiss on the mouth like in Pretty Woman.
But, if these once followed rules start to be broken or even bent, these are signs your casual relationship is getting serious.
#8 You’re on each other’s social media. It makes sense to follow your casual partner on social media. Who don’t you follow? Maybe you like each other’s photos or message to plan your next meetup.
But, if you comment on each other’s posts, tag each other in funny memes, or get to the point in which you are posting photos with one another, things are definitely getting serious.
#9 You talk about your personal life. It is fine to talk to your casual partner about work or traffic or your car making a weird noise. But, when you start confiding in them, things get complicated. It is fine to ask for their advice about your taxes if they work in finance, but it is not casual to ask their advice about dealing with your ex.
When you start talking to them about personal things like your dating history, family problems, or things like that, you are going beyond the definition of casual.
#10 You feel it. Finally, the most obvious signs your casual relationship is getting serious may not be explainable at all. They may not be something you see or say. Instead, you might just feel it.
Whether it comes with butterflies, excitement, or even comfort and safety, when things get serious you just know.
Should you get out or get serious?
When your casual relationship is getting serious you have a decision to make. Do you want to continue with it? Do you want to try to make a serious relationship with this person work? Or do you want to end things before they become too messy and hard?
This is something to think about thoroughly. You entered into a casual relationship for a reason. Does that reason still hold water?
Maybe you were fresh out of a breakup and didn’t want to jump into something serious, but now you have moved on and feel like you can. But, if you know you don’t do well with commitment, maybe something serious isn’t right for you.
If you are unsure how you feel, talk to a trusted friend. They can help open your eyes to the feelings you may have been swallowing down. If you have been talking about this person a lot, your friend will tell you it seems that you are connected. If you aren’t, it may be clear that you are not ready for something serious.
First things first though. If you feel your casual relationship getting serious, talk about it. You cannot make this decision alone. This is a relationship. Whether it is casual or serious is not just up to you, but both of you.
If you want things to work out or end smoothly you both need to be on the same page. Yes, even in a casual relationship, communication is key.